My brother got married yesterday, and as expected it was a wonderful and joyous occasion. I agonized quite a bit over the best man speech but in the end it turned out pretty well. When I reflected on it there were a few comments from my speech that are worth sharing. So below is the transcript, minus the parts that would terribly humiliate my big brother. (He owes me.)

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Hello everyone. Thank you for coming. And thank you to Joan and Monroe for putting together this wonderful wedding.

It is my great pleasure today to toast my brother and his new bride Carolyn. As I was thinking about what to say one question kept coming back to me, “How can I help Carolyn and Daniel in their marriage to one another?” What insights can I give them? So I’d like to share with you three pieces of advice: one for Daniel, one for Carolyn and one for both.

First, what wisdom can I impart to Dan about being a husband? Originally I was going to tell you that the husband is always wrong. But I tested the speech on my wife, and she told me I was wrong. Of course, she was right.

It’s not that husbands are always wrong. It’s that life is a whole lot better when you concede, tell her she’s beautiful, and offer to rub her shoulders than it is when you fight over who is right.

And to Carolyn. What insights can I give you about my brother?

[Sorry. This is the segment with the embarrassing stories about my brother. For those you’ll have to find a black market copy of the wedding video.]

And finally, this is for both of you. (And I invite any other couples, married or otherwise to play along with this.) First, Daniel and Carolyn. Hold hands. Give a little squeeze. Look into each other’s eyes. And think of five moments you have shared that brought you great happiness. Today might supply one or all of those moments. Take a moment now and think of these five times that you have shared that brought you happiness.

It has been found that when married couples have five times more positive interactions than negative, they are far more likely to stay together. In every marriage there will be sadness and anger. At those times, remember the five moments you just brought to mind. Talk about them. Relive them. And stay happy together.

Daniel, my brother, I love you. Carolyn, I am thrilled to welcome you into my family. I wish you both a wonderful and happy life together.

Mazel tov.

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