Yesterday I shared an email exchange that went viral and asked you which of the emailers you admire. There are important implications for what you chose.

Do you admire Professor Galloway as the accounts I have read/heard seem to? Lauding his saying what we have all (everyone over 30) felt at some point? That someone too young (under 30) is acting too youthfully for where they are at that moment. Playing loud music is fine in your dorm room, but not thumping out of your car on a residential street. Texting one of your friends is not something you are supposed to do in the middle of a conversation. And showing up an hour late in a professional setting with no hint of remorse is just unacceptable.

Those may be fair critiques, but sometimes we unleash our frustrations on the wrong object. While I can’t come up with any good reason for the thumping music in a residential neighborhood, I can think of many legitimate reasons why someone could be late to a class or any business meeting. I’ve seen a lot of Executives and CEOs give speeches and conduct meetings. I’ve never seen one force a late arriving attendee to leave.

Yes, it is the professor’s job to teach his students decorum. It is also his job to teach them leadership. How do you respond to employees who act outside the bounds of what you expect or desire? Do you publicly criticize them? Do you pass judgment without examining the facts?

And when you are confronted with a critique of your own actions as the student’s email offered to the Professor, what is the leaderly response? Defending yourself and your position? Attacking the one giving you feedback?

No. I think the Professor took a potentially rich learning opportunity – a situation with implications for business conduct, feedback, and leadership – and turned it into a stage for showing off his power.

“I get to choose who stays and who goes.”
“I get to make the rules.”
“Don’t mess with me, because I am the BMO this C.”

We are all teachers – to our kids, coworkers, students, managers, direct reports, friends, family members. Every time we critique someone else, we are teaching. But there are many lessons that go beyond the explicit message of what we say.

I hope my explicit message is a positive one. Just as important, I hope I have treated Professor Galloway with the professionalism and respect he deserves.

Tomorrow I’ll address the student’s actions and why you might just wish you had him on your team.