I went to my cousin’s wedding and she had invited several people to sing during dinner. As a professional opera singer she has many musically talented friends. In fact, the musical displays were extraordinary, and I heard someone wish they could sing that way.

We too often want to be that person – the one who can stand up and sing or deliver a devastating crossover dribble or grab the mic and give a charming, heartfelt and entertaining wedding speech or close any sale or lead in a way that inspires greatness. If we are unable, we can always chalk it up to lacking the talent.

To be fair, there are talent differences. But look at just about anyone who is exceptional at what they do and ask them about how they got that way or how they maintain their skill.

My cousin (who brought the house down with her song) works incredibly hard to hone her skill. She sometimes avoids talking for a couple of days before a performance to make sure her voice is well rested. (That is a preparation method I would find particularly difficult, though I’m sure my wife and kids would enjoy greatly.)

I give speeches for a living and I coach people on their speaking. They almost always want to be able to simply walk up, grab the mic, be funny and smooth and insightful, and walk off to a standing ovation.

I tell them how I rehearse my speeches over and over again, preparing relentlessly to make sure the speech I give on stage is devoid of the hiccups and mistakes I make during practice.

The important skills and moments in your life demand more than talent. They require lots of practice and behind the scenes work.

What are the skills you are currently working on, practicing, and building behind the scenes? Someday someone will look at you and say, “I wish I had that kind of talent.”

As I wrote yesterday, I have asked job applicants to write guest posts for this blog as part of their application process. Today I offer one of those posts to you. The author is Jonah Cohen, a senior at Brandeis University double majoring in Philosophy and Psychology who has made Dean’s List every semester. (I tried to tell him college is for having fun but I had as much success explaining this to him as I did to my own mother when I was in college.) Without further adieu, here is his post:

I am graduating in three months. And I need to write a blog post. I have no idea what I will be doing next year, nor have I ever written a blog. That is about all I know.

Are you familiar with this feeling of utter uncertainty? Do you like to always know what is about to happen? Do you need to know what’s around the corner?

But what if you don’t know? Or couldn’t know? What do you typically do then?

Kierkegaard wrote, “To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily, to not to dare is to lose oneself.”

Most of the time we let the uncertainty in our lives stop us. It is romantic to fill our lives with pleasing illusions; armed with a plan, the world looks a lot less scary. We feel safer, less alone, and further from the nasty thought that we might screw up or get lost. But this is a mistake.

The unknown is motivating. It pushes us to try new things. To explore different options. And the paradox?

Only by immersing ourselves in the frightening unexplored can we rise to our greatest challenges.

So push yourself into the unknown.

Doing this has allowed me to do things that I have never done before.

Like writing this blog post.

Test drive the car before you buy it. Sample the food before booking the catering hall. Date before you marry.

And put them to work before you hire them.

You could be hiring an employee or a financial advisor or someone to paint your house or design a website. If it’s an important job, have them do something as a test run first.

Do away with the questions from the interview hall of shame.

If you were an animal what animal would you be?
How do you deal with pressure?
What is your worst attribute?
(The answers of course are eagle, exceptionally, and a combination of perfectionism and workaholism.)

The answers may tell you how well someone can read you and articulate what they think you want to hear, but they are no substitute for a real work product.

In my case I am preparing to hire some new employees for my company. They will need, among other things, persuasive writing skills, understanding of my content, and marketing savvy.

So I set the candidates to the task of evaluating my website, reading my blog, and writing a guest post. Tomorrow I will share one of those posts. This person’s writing today tells me more about what I can expect in the future than any interview question I could ask.

This 3 minute video is brilliant.

It’s out in Japan and will arrive soon in the US – billboard advertising that includes a camera that scans your face, determines your gender and age, and then tailors its message to you. It also keeps track of how long you stay to watch the message.

You can see news accounts of this new technology ranging from standard news reporting to harshly critical.

Reminiscent of the advertising in the movie Minority Report, this system doesn’t identify you as an individual . . . yet. But once these billboards have become standard and as identification software improves, why wouldn’t advertisers try to identify us individually?

And then what?

Is this plain awesome? You get ads specifically tailored to your buying patterns and engineered to entertain you.

Or is this just awful? Big business is that much more aware of where you are and what you are doing with databases for sale to the highest bidders.

What do you think?

On Tuesday I shared an email exchange that went viral and asked you which of the emailers you admire. Yesterday I shared my views on the Professor. Today the kid is up, and in my opinion he does deserve admiration for his actions.

I agree with the professor that the student’s approach to sampling classes was misguided. It was rude and unprofessional. (Though I also think it shows some level of creativity and willingness to experiment outside the established norms.) I agree with some of the commentary I’ve received that the youth of today need to learn manners and discipline.

And so, insofar as the kid’s email attempts to justify his actions as appropriate, I think he needs to learn otherwise. Had he okayed his strategy with the professor ahead of time, fine. If he’d had a flat tire or a death in the family or a subway car ride that stopped underground due to a power failure, those are excusable reasons for showing up late. Sampling classes does not rate as a worthy excuse.

However, when I read the kid’s email I don’t hear the snotty tone of an impudent youth trying to defend his actions. I hear a respectful voice offering reasonable feedback to someone in a position of power. Now, as I’ve written before, I do think this kind of message should be delivered live instead of in written form. However, I think the essence of the email – speaking truth to power – is laudable.

He didn’t attack the professor. He didn’t show undue malice or anger. He expressed the impact the professor’s actions had on him and stated his case calmly and openly.

I can easily teach someone to show up on time. I can explain to this kid why his actions were inappropriate in professional and academic settings. I can convey how his actions were personally unfair to the professors.

I cannot nearly as easily teach someone to speak their minds to authority and to do it in a respectful way.

Yesterday I shared an email exchange that went viral and asked you which of the emailers you admire. There are important implications for what you chose.

Do you admire Professor Galloway as the accounts I have read/heard seem to? Lauding his saying what we have all (everyone over 30) felt at some point? That someone too young (under 30) is acting too youthfully for where they are at that moment. Playing loud music is fine in your dorm room, but not thumping out of your car on a residential street. Texting one of your friends is not something you are supposed to do in the middle of a conversation. And showing up an hour late in a professional setting with no hint of remorse is just unacceptable.

Those may be fair critiques, but sometimes we unleash our frustrations on the wrong object. While I can’t come up with any good reason for the thumping music in a residential neighborhood, I can think of many legitimate reasons why someone could be late to a class or any business meeting. I’ve seen a lot of Executives and CEOs give speeches and conduct meetings. I’ve never seen one force a late arriving attendee to leave.

Yes, it is the professor’s job to teach his students decorum. It is also his job to teach them leadership. How do you respond to employees who act outside the bounds of what you expect or desire? Do you publicly criticize them? Do you pass judgment without examining the facts?

And when you are confronted with a critique of your own actions as the student’s email offered to the Professor, what is the leaderly response? Defending yourself and your position? Attacking the one giving you feedback?

No. I think the Professor took a potentially rich learning opportunity – a situation with implications for business conduct, feedback, and leadership – and turned it into a stage for showing off his power.

“I get to choose who stays and who goes.”
“I get to make the rules.”
“Don’t mess with me, because I am the BMO this C.”

We are all teachers – to our kids, coworkers, students, managers, direct reports, friends, family members. Every time we critique someone else, we are teaching. But there are many lessons that go beyond the explicit message of what we say.

I hope my explicit message is a positive one. Just as important, I hope I have treated Professor Galloway with the professionalism and respect he deserves.

Tomorrow I’ll address the student’s actions and why you might just wish you had him on your team.

There is an email exchange that occurred last month between a Stern School of Business professor and a student that has now gone viral. The background is that the student arrived an hour late to the first class of the semester and was asked by the professor to leave. Afterwards they exchanged emails. My question is which email (if any) is admirable and why? (My own opinion on this tomorrow.)

Here’s the student email:

Prof. Galloway,

I would like to discuss a matter with you that bothered me. Yesterday evening I entered your 6pm Brand Strategy class approximately 1 hour late. As I entered the room, you quickly dismissed me, saying that I would need to leave and come back to the next class. After speaking with several students who are taking your class, they explained that you have a policy stating that students who arrive more than 15 minutes late will not be admitted to class.

As of yesterday evening, I was interested in three different Monday night classes that all occurred simultaneously. In order to decide which class to select, my plan for the evening was to sample all three and see which one I like most. Since I had never taken your class, I was unaware of your class policy. I was disappointed that you dismissed me from class considering (1) there is no way I could have been aware of your policy and (2) considering that it was the first day of evening classes and I arrived 1 hour late (not a few minutes), it was more probable that my tardiness was due to my desire to sample different classes rather than sheer complacency.

I have already registered for another class but I just wanted to be open and provide my opinion on the matter.

Regards,

XXXX

And here’s the professor’s response:

Thanks for the feedback. I, too, would like to offer some feedback.

Just so I’ve got this straight…you started in one class, left 15-20 minutes into it (stood up, walked out mid-lecture), went to another class (walked in 20 minutes late), left that class (again, presumably, in the middle of the lecture), and then came to my class. At that point (walking in an hour late) I asked you to come to the next class which “bothered” you.

Correct?

You state that, having not taken my class, it would be impossible to know our policy of not allowing people to walk in an hour late. Most risk analysis offers that in the face of substantial uncertainty, you opt for the more conservative path or hedge your bet (e.g., do not show up an hour late until you know the professor has an explicit policy for tolerating disrespectful behavior, check with the TA before class, etc.). I hope the lottery winner that is your recently crowned Monday evening Professor is teaching Judgement and Decision Making or Critical Thinking.

In addition, your logic effectively means you cannot be held accountable for any code of conduct before taking a class. For the record, we also have no stated policy against bursting into show tunes in the middle of class, urinating on desks or taking that revolutionary hair removal system for a spin. However, xxxx, there is a baseline level of decorum (i.e., manners) that we expect of grown men and women who the admissions department have deemed tomorrow’s business leaders.

xxxx, let me be more serious for a moment. I do not know you, will not know you and have no real affinity or animosity for you. You are an anonymous student who is now regretting the send button on his laptop. It’s with this context I hope you register pause…REAL pause xxxx and take to heart what I am about to tell you:

xxxx, get your shit together.

Getting a good job, working long hours, keeping your skills relevant, navigating the politics of an organization, finding a live/work balance…these are all really hard, xxxx. In contrast, respecting institutions, having manners, demonstrating a level of humility…these are all (relatively) easy. Get the easy stuff right xxxx. In and of themselves they will not make you successful. However, not possessing them will hold you back and you will not achieve your potential which, by virtue of you being admitted to Stern, you must have in spades. It’s not too late xxxx…

Again, thanks for the feedback.

Professor Galloway

I’d like to tell you a story. You may have heard it before. It’s about an entrepreneur.

His passion was technology. He spent years struggling and even starving in the early going. The people around him thought him mad for the work he pursued. But he proved them all wrong and in the end achieved unimaginable wealth.

Do you know who it is?

It’s not Bill Gates. He had a garage to work in. He was lucky.

Not Steve Jobs. He had friends’ couches to sleep on. Luxury.

This is the story of William Kamkwamba, a young man from Malawi. His father was a farmer, and thus, William helped in the fields throughout his youth. One year the crops failed and famine struck his country. His family gradually had to reduce their food intake to one meal per day, just a few mouthfuls. They sold off possessions, all money going to feed the family. William had to drop out of school because they lacked the funds – about $80 US – to pay the school fees.

He began hanging out at the library – 3 shelves of random books donated by the US. Among the books he found Using Energy and saw a picture of a windmill. He decided to build one of his own. He used this book for guidance despite the fact that the book wasn’t even in his language.

Using scraps he found in a garbage yard he began to build. The people in his town, the other children, even his family thought he was crazy. He had no local Home Depot. He had to create his own screwdriver and wrenches. He had to build his own generator and circuit breaker and light switches. And he had to build a tower atop which he would place his windmill. And he did. He did all of that.

And he did it all by the age of 14.

The full story is told in his inspiring, tremendous book, The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind. In the meantime you can get a flavor for his wonderful personality from his Daily Show appearance. We should all appreciate that heroes like William exist in this world.

My experiment was a success. I took a trip to Hawaii, brought no books, and had no problems.

The Kindle app for the iPhone was my reading source for this trip. In the past I’ve lugged along anywhere from 1-3 books on my travels. This time, unencumbered by excess paper I feared I would tire of the little screen, become frustrated or annoyed or worse – headachy.

In fact reading entire books on the iPhone turned out to be quite pleasing. It was easy, comfortable, convenient. I am left with just one dilemma – one for which I’d love your help.

The question – what are the best things to do during takeoff and landing if you aren’t packing paper reading material?

The electronics have to be turned off. This used to be primo reading time for me. So now what? Any ideas?