Yesterday I wrote that it is a video world. Today I offer this incredible video.

And yes, newsletter subscribers will recall that last June I posted another uke video. (BTW, this little guy looks like he has been watching that video too.)

For those of us who aren’t ridiculous musical prodigies I think there is a great lesson in the I’m Yours video. This kid doesn’t know the words. (I’m fairly certain that isn’t the Japanese translation he’s singing.) He’s just belting out something that feels right. He’s going with it. He’s in the flow and doesn’t care how it sounds. He’s loving what he’s doing.

Compare that with how adults act when they don’t know the words. Most of us clam up or mumble. Worse, we sing the wrong words and get embarrassed. Then we quiet down the next time or spend the next 20 minutes feeling bad or stupid. At some point between 5 years old and 25 we allow shame to overpower joy.

That isn’t the way it has to be. In fact, when you mumble, the shame creeps in. But when you belt it out the way this kid does, confidence and joy will conquer shame. So forget about judgments and throw yourself in.

My friend Alison Dorlen used to love to say, “speed kills” when we played pool together. It is tempting to simply hit the ball as hard as you can and watch all the ricochets and hope for the best. But usually the best doesn’t happen with that method. In fact, when you slow down, both in terms of how quickly you make your shot and how hard you hit the cue ball, your shots gain accuracy and effectiveness. You become a better player.

Fault operates in a similar fashion. My jury duty case was a medical malpractice case. The family was suing the doctor. Their father/husband had died. The doctor and hospital must be at fault. Someone must be to blame. Complications are unacceptable. It must be someone’s fault.

The thing about fault is that the more you focus on it, the more you seek out who was responsible for something bad that happened, the more your world becomes about criticizing, blaming, and defending. When you focus on fault you make people wary of what they do around you. You teach the people around you (your employees, colleagues, children) to be the first to point the finger so that they gain the upper hand in the blame game. And you destroy your own ability to accept responsibility graciously, to say, “I did that. I made a mistake. I’m sorry. I’ll fix it.”

Fault kills. It kills your happiness and your pleasantness to be around. It kills your effectiveness as an employee, a parent, and a leader.

It’s easy to make these pronouncements and point the finger at others. “Other people blame. I’ve known them. They’re awful.” But the truth is we are all seduced into the blame game from time to time.

I do it. When I do it it’s a mistake. I’m sorry for that. I’m going to do my best to fix it.

I’ve seen layoffs and had to fire people. I’ve witnessed a loved one battle cancer. A friend of mine’s son has gone through 3 brain surgeries. Yet I’ve never seen people express so much pain and outrage as those asked to serve 5 days of jury duty. Thursday I was called to serve on a civil trial. It sounded interesting. I would have been happy to serve. Inconvenienced? Yes. But happy to serve. Hey, variety is the spice of life. I think sitting on a trial would have been fascinating. It was a medical malpractice suit. Healthcare is a hot topic. Sounds great to me.

I was dismissed (probably due to my upcoming travel schedule to deliver keynotes in Las Vegas and Miami). Now before you say that it’s easy for me to say I wanted to serve when I was dismissed, know this. The last time I was called for jury duty I did serve. Happily. For 30 days. And it was fascinating.

I didn’t lose my job or my family. I don’t look back now, 9 years later, and trace a string of life tragedies or career setbacks to that unfortunate turn of events.

But this week I saw people whine and complain. I saw some lie shamelessly, and really poorly I might add. You would have thought that those selected were going in front of a firing squad. They weren’t. They were just going to (have to/get to) serve jury duty.

There’s a broader lesson here. What do you tell yourself you have to do? I have to go to work. I have to take the car in. I have to pick up my kids. In fact, you get to do all of those things. If you’re lucky, you even get to serve on jury duty.

Do you speak French? Creole? Hmm. Me neither. Still, this is beautiful.
Once I got past the sheer enjoyment of watching and listening to that video it sparked thoughts about how we communicate? Did you understand what they were saying? Did you feel it?
We communicate in so many ways. All day long you are telling people things with your face, your body, your tone. The way you dress and walk carries a message.
What are you communicating outside of your words? When you get beyond the lyrics of your life, is the background music you are playing to people really what you want it to be?

Did you see the latest rave for Avatar? Or the one that wasn’t quite so giddy?

What about the news of the 6.1 aftershock in Haiti?

How about the latest corporate memo on security?

You receive too many emails. The web draws you in and keeps going forever. At home the TV has seemingly endless options to occupy you. There is a never ending supply of distraction in your life.

Everyone living in the information age society has a job in common. If you are an executive or a programmer or a marketer or a stay at home parent, your primary responsibilities all share this – your performance depends on the speed with which you discard non-essential information.

Get rid of the memos. Turn off the TV. Delete the joke email without reading it. Choose not to read the article your friend sent to you. Refuse to click another link.

Of course, there are some things you do want to read. Some people you should trust when they tell you you absolutely must check out this website (and this one and this one) or video or picture.

Did you click through? If not, you just might be a better person for it.