My guess is that most people reading this blog live pretty normal lives.

We go to school when we are young. We get jobs and spend most of our adult lives employed. We have families. Somewhere along the way we face a crisis or two – a lost job or the death of a parent. But mostly our lives follow what should be a pretty comfortable progression.

This isn’t everyone’s experience. Some people endure tragedies that I, for one, can’t even comprehend. In many cases these people who should, by all rights, be devastated turn their own tragedies into beacons of hope for others. I can think of no more heroic act than that.

Here’s a great example of one such case.

My question to you (and to me) today: What will you do with the crises in your life?

I’m into exercise, but WOW! Check out the Raven.This guy runs 8 miles every day.

Every single day.

Without fail.

For over 34 years now and counting.

But here’s what I love. People tell him he’s obsessed - that it’s crazy to be so committed to making this run every day. He responds that he has watched the sunset every day and never been caught in rush hour traffic. Sounds like a healthy obsession to me.

It made me stop and wonder what I do every day - and what I’d like to do more of.

What a time we live in. I used to get interviewed by journalists writing about best bosses or how to break bad habits. Now they want me to talk about how bad economy leads to bad bosses. Well, the times they have a changed.

Just remember, be kind to your fretting frazzled boss. Most people I speak to these days are feeling more stress than at any other time of their lives. We could all use an oasis of kindness and peace. Your calm in the storm of this economy and marketplace sets you apart as a leader. Maybe if we all act with a little more calm and kindness I can go back to talking about best bosses.

This two minute video about a paper airplane took me through a surprising range of emotion. It was after the second time I viewed the video I realized my emotions weren’t for the airplane but for myself.

I’m not sure who originally said this, but there is a quote that goes something like, “In order to be great at your job, you must always be willing to lose your job.” Greatness in the workplace often comes from bucking the system, speaking truth to power, challenging the status quo. And I usually support these actions. But not always.

This economy is bad. Layoffs are mounting. I believe you have to be able to face yourself in the mirror. That means standing up for what you believe in. But we all believe in a lot of things, some of which contradict one another. In a time like this believing in having a paycheck and supporting your family can supersede challenging the most recent corporate policy or providing developmental feedback to your boss.

It is important to strive for greatness, but know this. At times like these I don’t begrudge anyone their decision to keep a low profile. So long as no one is doing anything illegal this is a time to use your judgment. That may mean letting the status remain quo, and holding onto your job to strive for greatness another day.

Okay. The bacon log of which I wrote last week was indeed an exercise in ridiculous excess. That said, it did taste good (in fact it was sublime).

The splurge is an interesting experience. Here is my take. When we are out of control on a splurge, be it on food, alcohol, shopping, anger, you name your vice, it doesn’t feel good before, during, or after. Yet I don’t recommend to anyone to try to lead an ascetic life. I like ice cream and wine and shopping and video games. There are lots of things I just am not willing to give up in their entirety. However, I am working on intentionality.

So the excess of the bacon log was a bit moronic. But I didn’t have seconds and I very likely will never make it again (or at least not for a long time). I believe in excess, so long as it’s in moderation.

For some time I have been making an effort to live a generally healthy lifestyle. I exercise. I’m trying my best to control my portions. I practice meditation (sometimes). I try to think positively. Yet I also believe that at times it is healthy to let loose - so long as you do so intentionally and without making it a habit.

Well, this Sunday is the Superbowl. My friend Aaron frequently sends me bacon related websites. Well, to Aaron and anyone else reading this post, try this bacon extravaganza on for size. This will be my contribution to the Superbowl party I am attending. This will be my choice for excess.

If I am able, I will let you know on Monday of the joys of this particular excess.

I was speaking with a friend of mine whose mother-in-law had just passed away. They were very close and it was a tough loss for her and her husband. At one point in our conversation we turned to the difficulty so many people have talking to someone who has lost a loved one. Some people had avoided speaking with her altogether. Others were stiff and awkward, completely uncertain about what to say.

This reminded me of my grandmother’s passing. My father at that time taught me two things: (1) how I want to grieve, (2) how I want to support others in grief. In short, he turned his mother’s passing into an opportunity to celebrate her life and to celebrate the coming together of the family for the funeral. He didn’t suppress his sorrow, but he also comfortably unleashed his happiness at seeing his brother, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.

And so when I talk to someone facing grief, this is what I say:

I’m very sorry to hear about your loss.
Please accept my condolences.
I wish for you an easy grief with the comfort of loving family and friends and the joy of the best memories you have of your loved one.

Then I ask about those best memories.

Everyone grieves differently. This isn’t the best way to do it. But for anyone who has suffered a recent loss or knows someone who has, I hope this perspective helps.

Remember, even in grief we can savor the moments of our lives.

Don’t click if you have delicate sensibilities. But if you like British humor, you’ll enjoy this article.

I posted my last blog about liberty and responsibility. Then I read this quote from the brilliant book Authentic Conversations, by Jamie and Maren Showkeir.

“Claiming rights without responsibilities is anarchy. Responsibilities without rights is oppression. Consenting to rights and responsibilities is necessary for us to claim our place as adults.”

I highly recommend this book. It is a serious and extremely valuable read about changing our conversations to build more effective, adult relationships.